County – West Midlands/Sandwell
Elevation - 271m
Date – 1 July 2022
Distance – 1km
Elevation Climbed - 14m
Status – 14th highest Unitary Authority top (Sandwell); 20th highest historic county top (West Mids)
You may have seen Turner’s Hill, without, of course, recognising its status as a mighty county top.
The radio masts tower over the Black Country and are clearly visible from the nearby M5, and hove into view as I headed north. A quick detour from the motorway, a bit of faffing as I tried to find Dudley Golf Club (the traditional base camps for ascents), and I was away.
Unfortunately (and Turner’s Hill isn’t alone in this), the people who own massive masts on the tops of hills aren’t mad keen for any old Tom Dick and Harry to come wandering by, and so my initial attempt to reach the peak (a slightly scraggy field) was thwarted by a whacking great fence.
I made my way back to the lane which ran up the side of the hill and came upon a couple peering up at the masts. I looked at them, they looked at me… “County Topper…?” they asked. Hell yeah!
Turned out these two had retired and now spent their free time Topping. I was rather envious. They lived in Yorkshire and had done most of the northern ones but very few southern ones, and I was vice versa. We swapped anecdotes and then the chap decided he had had enough of talk, and ploughed through the brambles and over the fence, smashing his way towards the top.
“Are you going for it?” asked his delightful wife. Now I’m not the kind of guy who’s a quitter, but nor am I the kind of guy who a) enjoys trespass or b) likes being ripped to shreds by brambles and stung by nettles, so I politely declined. A short while later he reappeared, bleeding profusely.
“Did you reach the top, dear?” asked Mrs Topper.
“No, too overgrown” said Mr Topper, as he staunched the blood from his hands and face.
Satisfied that I’d made the right choice, I headed back to the car.
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